MY own Massah (the place of testing) and Meribah (the place of arguing)

Yesterday I worked all day on paper work and documents to go in the dossier we need to send to the Ukraine soon. It is time consuming and very detailed and specific. We believed we were to be honest and let people know we do not have the money to do this adoption, and if it is the will of God for it to happen, He will show us what to do and provide all that is needed. My heart started to grow faint in the afternoon, as I found myself focusing on the $ amount and not on how big our God is. I would like to believe that I won't let the enemy speak to me and cause me to grow weak. I was forced to look at my heart when Matt brought in the mail. There was an envelope for "Krystyna" again. Tonya said she was mailing one she has had since the first announcement of our plans, so I assumed it was that one. I opened it up, and here is what it said:

Dear Linda,
I saw your website and I wanted to do something to help and the help you need (besides prayer) is money. So I've decided to send you some money.
I pray this money will reach you guys in time and that you'll have enough money in time to adopt that girl from the Ukrain!
I know that she'll be in good hands living with the Goodness family, it's all in the name!!
I'll be praying!

I lost it crying. My heart was so blessed that one of the past exchange students I was responsible for years back would take time to show such love for Krystyna and our family. It reminded me that the year this student was with us, I had to rescue a few of them from many areas that were placed in bad situations and came to our region to finish the year. They were such a blessing to our communities. The other reason I was crying was because my head keeps say this is too big an amount, but God keeps saying "Where is your faith in Me?"

Yesterday in the book of Exodus 13:17-18 it says:
When Pharaoh finally let the people go, God did not lead them on the road that runs through Philistine territory, even though that was the shortest way from Egypt to the Promised Land. God said, "If the people are faced with a battle, they might change their minds and return to Egypt." So God led them along a route through the wilderness toward the Red Sea, and the Israelites left Egypt like a marching army.

This reminded me of when this Scripture last clenched my heart. It lead to our first adoption. God could have taken the people directly to the Promised Land, but He knew they were not ready. He used the wilderness and the trials to strengthen us for His battles in the future. Like Peter, sometimes we think we are ready for anything, until the anything arrives and then our knees buckle and we question our own faith.

Another two verses that have been stuck in my head today are:

Exodus 14:15-16
Then the LORD said to Moses, "Why are you crying out to me? Tell the people to get moving! Use your shepherd's staff--hold it out over the water, and a path will open up before you through the sea."

I guess this is something I will reflect on throughout today to see what it is He wants me to do and know.

Todays verses were all about being shown God's provisions over and over and still the people doubted and questioned and argued. They even would say it would be better to be in slavery in Egypt then to be where God was taking them. Moses continued to seek God and do as he was told, and the LORD said to Moses,

"I will meet you by the rock at Mount Sinai. Strike the rock, and water will come pouring out. Then the people will be able to drink." Moses did just as he was told; and as the leaders looked on, water gushed out.
Moses named the place Massah--"the place of testing"--and Meribah--"the place of arguing"--because the poeple of Israel argued with Moses and tested the LORD by saying, "Is the LORD going to take care of us or not?"
(Exodus 17:6-7)

I know many times when I have read this section of Exodus I have thought, "How can these people not see God is taking care of them?" And today, I humble myself to a place where I am saying "I am just like them." How can I keep questioning where this money is going to come from. I need to trust that He is going to tell us 'what rock to hit' or whatever He has planned and we just need to obey.

Please pray for me to stand firm in faith, to stay close to the LORD, and believe! Thank you LORD for using Your Word to get me back on track. I pray you keep the enemy away and I glorify you today.