Endurance . . . (to withstand, suffer or persevere)

What a week. I went through so many emotions. My family went through sickness, and it hit everyone. Started with little Naomi on Sunday at 4:00AM then David on Tuesday, Matt and Jon on Wednesday and finally me on Wednesday evening. At the same time this was going on, we were working on paperwork that needed to be finished and had finger printing to do on Thursday morning. We are working on trying to raise money for the adoption by having a spaghetti luncheon on April 10th at Jon's moms church in Brewer. This has been a trial to put together, as the times and details have not fit into "our" hopes and plans, but they are all coming together. Any how, through all this, by Thursday, I was feeling really tired, including my hope and faith that this was all going to work out. I admit I was feeling very weak and hopeless. On Friday morning, even though I was in the Word, I looked at Krystyna's photo and just started crying. I fell on my knees and cried to the Lord, just begging Him to please take care of her. If there is a family in the Ukraine that should adopt her, please just speak to their hearts. I felt like there was no way we were going to be able to do this in time. The amounts are so huge to us, and the support and encouragement seems to have just stopped. Being surrounded by brothers and sisters and feeding off their hope and belief filled me with more strength I guess. So, with how down I was feeling, I made it worse by feeling like I didn't have faith, because I was doubting. But in Luke 7, it says that admitting doubts helps resolve them. I really questioned so many things, one of them being how involved are we to be in trying to raise these funds? Is faith just sitting around waiting for the money to be delivered? I feel like people don't want to hear what the need is and what is going on. Well, after being a bit grumpy on Friday, even though I was using what the word said and trying to resolve why I was doubting by searching the Scriptures, I went to bed feeling overwhelmed. I was already in love with a child that God brought into our lives, and already feeling no control over her circumstances.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
(1 Corinthians 13:7)

When I woke up on Saturday, Jon had taken Naomi so I could sleep in. I have to tell you that my first thought was just sleep until you feel like getting up. Exhausted, I sang a worship song to God in my head and prayed. I had all intentions to stay in bed and be VERY lazy. I thought, I have had a tough week and "deserve" a little rest. All wrapped up in the nice warm blankets, the hum of a fan going, quite relaxed and happy with this plan, I heard "Get up! Press on."


Patient endurance is what you need now, so you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that He has promised.
(Hebrews 10:36)

You guessed it, I got up! I went out and looked at Jon and said, "What are we going to do today to keep moving forward?" We decided we should take letters around to businesses for donations for the luncheon and silent auction. It has not been easy to humble ourselves and admit we can't do this in our own way. It has been difficult because when we stepped out, we believed we would qualify for some grants that would help shrink the need. We won't qualify for grants because we are not using an agency in the US because Ukrainian laws are different, and this takes us out of most grants. That is just one trial but the Lord is using it to grow us. We believe the Lord is continuing to mold us into His plan for who we will become.

For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.
(James 1:4)

We already know we have a much different understanding for when God tells people they are to go on a mission and then they ask for help. We have helped in the past, but I admit I have been a person thinking, "if you can't afford it, why are you doing it?" We surely have seen money in a different way over the last two years. We are blessed with every dollar the Lord provides and extremely thankful we still have a roof over our heads.

So be truly glad! There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while.
(1 Peter 1:6)

So, to Praise Him for a wonderful day yesterday and to praise Him for my trials as well, I say, "I LOVE YOU LORD, You are always there in the good and the bad. You still love me even when I am doubting and hurting, and YES, you love Krystyna more than I do. I need to trust you with her life and trust in Your plans and what we heard You tell us from the start. We will Press on!"

Because we did, we have been blessed by businesses and friends. I will list some items for the auction below, and want to thank everyone. When I figure out how, we will add a page with names and items donated.

50 pounds of spaghetti
10 cases of soda
overnight package at Vacationland Motels hot tub suite
3 $25 Sports arena passes
plant
Cowans gas card
2 bike helmets
Restaurant gift certificates
survival kit
Rebecca's gift certificate
Northstar photography 2 family sessions
Quilt, lap quilt and desserts by some great friends!

I will update better later, but need to get ready for church. Thank you everyone for your support really. I only share my ups and downs, so if someone else is going through it, maybe they will know they aren't alone. I have learned that adoption is one of the most intense battles out there. I think anything that our enemy doesn't want to see happen makes the journey a bit more difficult. It is also something you have no control over, and that being one of my faults, releasing control, it always is a trial. Thank you friends and family for sticking with us in the good and bad. We love you all.